My Birth Story - Part 3

Part 1 and Part 2 here..

I had set myself a deadline of finishing this story off at least before my daughter turns 6 months and since I don’t have many days left for that milestone, I thought I should get my act together.

Continuing from here, Part 1 and Part 2, Calculus decided to go home, take a nap, get me some more food and build up his energy reserves as we did not really know how much longer we had. He left strict instructions with both me and the midwife to call him as soon as any action begun. I decided to rest a while but obviously sleep eluded me at that stage. My head was too cluttered with thoughts; I was so nervous that it was impossible to sleep. Finally around 10.00PM, just about an hour and a half after Calculus left, the contractions started. I don’t think I can describe accurately what a contraction feels like, but the nearest it comes to is how it was described in our labour class. Our instructor in the labour class made us all stand up with our back supported by a wall, knees bent and squat about half-way down. She asked us to stay in that position for as long as we could and just when we wanted to get up, stay some more and when the pain gets almost unbearable, that’s the starting point of a contraction. Try it out – it’s fairly realistic. Anyway when the first contraction came, I rang Calculus. The poor bloke had just gone to sleep hardly 20 minutes before he was summoned. He, of course, did not want to miss any of the action and rushed back to the hospital.

By around 10.30 my waters broke, which is one of the messiest things one can imagine. I had always wondered how women cope if this happens in a public place – I guess though it’s quite a natural thing, people would understand and frankly, being messy would be the last thing on your mind at that stage. The contractions came really quickly by this point. They were only a couple of minutes apart, no easing-into-it-gently phase for me. My first reaction, as I look back now, was sheer panic. I had forgotten to use my breathing exercises, did not relax at all, did not know how to cope at all and was panicking. Calculus repeatedly was asking me to relax, holding my hands but I was just not listening to him. I asked the nurse for an epidural and she told me that there were no doctors around, that they were extremely busy that night and she did not think I was going to get one that night. In fact, I was not going to get any gas and air either as there were no birthing suites free, which had that facility !! Of course, I could have screamed and shouted and probably they would have got a doctor in, but I was no mood for that. The nurse did give me an alternative of a having a pethidine injection, which I took. Of course it would take a little while to take effect, but it was better than no pain relief at all. The foetal heartbeat was still being constantly monitored, so I could not move up and about as much as I wanted to, but that was a minor inconvenience.

In the meanwhile, I calmed myself down mentally with immense effort and started to use my TENS machine. The TENS itself machine was great – I don’t think it takes the pain away, but it helps you deal with it better. You have to turn up the intensity of the electrical energy being released during a contraction and turn it down after one. I think the fact that you have something to do during each contraction itself was a big help. I also started chanting a lot in my head, which I am sure helped and started my breathing exercises during the duration of the contraction. The pethidine too started to kick in and I felt myself relax immensely. Sometime later, I felt much better as I was dealing with the contractions in a much more productive way and was also not feeling the pain as much. I had so much to do during each contraction – chant, use the TENS and breathe, so probably there was no time to feel the pain. The intensity of the contractions was quite strong from the start for me, so it did not get much worse. One of the side effects of pethidine is drowsiness, so I was struggling to keep my eyes open, but as soon as I would rest and start to doze off, a contraction would rudely wake me up ! Though I think, I did drift in and out of sleep, irrespective of the contractions.

Calculus was great all along – just giving in to all my orders of “fetch me this, fetch me that” without a word, encouraging me and generally being a rock. This went on for a good couple of hours. I was really relaxed by this time and knew what to do when a contraction came on. By around 3.00AM I was fairly tired and had this incredible urge to go to the toilet. It did not even strike me then that I might be dilated to 10cm by then, but Calculus remembered as they had mentioned this in our labour class. So he got the midwife to come and have a look at me. She came quite half-heartedly, all the while moaning that it would be a good couple of hours more and that there is no way I could be dilated already. But surprise of surprises, I was and she was quite shocked.

From then on, things started moving in fast forward. She told me that I would need to be moved almost immediately to the birthing suite and that it could be any time now. I was moved soon after to the birthing suite, which had (laughing) gas and air. Gas and air, I think, is the best thing ever during labour. There are varying opinions on this – some like it straight away and some don’t. I wish I had got this form of pain relief early on – I don’t think I would have taken anything else. Calculus too loved gas and air – the midwife suggested to him in passing that he could try it and before I knew it, he was hooked !! He was literally waiting for me to put it down, before he could grab it. Gas and air makes you slightly tipsy and Calculus was generally in a chatty mood, talking quite a lot to the midwives. I was so irritated with him at that stage and commanded him to stop using the gas and air but to no avail.

The birthing suite was the most luxurious of all the rooms that I had been in at the hospital and finally I got a room to myself. So far, it had just been a room with 4 beds, with a flimsy curtain separating me and the next screaming woman. So the birthing suite was quite pleasant. The midwives came in with all their equipment and we were all set to go. One of the midwives was a student, who was quite sweet, probably because of what she told me next !! She said that she did not believe the other midwives when they told her that I was so close to delivering as I was so calm and composed. I was well chuffed.

The next stage was the pushing. I was really really lucky as it all happened so quickly after then. With each contraction, I was asked to use all my force and push. After a couple of minutes, I heard Calculus scream that he could see the head. Then I pushed and pushed with each contraction but no progress. The midwife finally said that I would have to push harder as the baby was slowly starting to get distressed. I gave it all I had when I heard that and within a couple of pushes her head was out. It was only a matter of a few more seconds before she was out at 4.05AM. Calculus saw her first and told me that she was gorgeous. The midwife then put her on my chest and what can I say ? That feeling is just priceless. She was wide awake, very curious and looking all around. I am not sure how long we lay there, staring at each other. I think the miracle of birth never ceases to amaze and even if it were not my first time, I would feel just the same.

All in all, I would say it was quite a short labour for a first-time birth. Of course, I am not complaining and know how fortunate I was. Overall, it was not a bad experience at all. It was obviously painful, but manageable painful, if you know what I mean. The fact that there were friends of mine, who were chanting through the night for me, played a huge role, undoubtedly.

Phew !! What a long story this has turned out to be. I am quite tired even reliving the experience in my head. Obviously I was really knackered on the day and wanted to doze off so much, but the little one was so curious and inquisitive examining her new surroundings that she did not sleep till about 8.00AM – a good four hours after she was born. Calculus had not handled newborn babies before, so he was quite nervous to hold her and when the midwife asked him initially if he wanted to hold her, he actually said no !! Of course he held her after some time, rather nervously at first but has not looked back since. He is such a natural now that it’s hard to think he was nervous, at one stage. He is a thoroughly doting father and its an absolute delight to watch the two of them together..Modern fathers indeed..