Of visiting friends..

A dear friend of mine recently visited us from the far east a few weeks ago. I know him for a reasonably long period of time now, yet we havent met that often, in fact this was only the second time that I was meeting him.

I met him 'virtually' under rather strange circumstances - strange for me, because i normally never do things like that. I met him on a internet singing site - i know, how lame does that sound ? I can assure you though that such a site did exist and stranger still, it was fairly popular. What I was doing there ? Well, it was my pre-London student days, when I needed an inexpensive hobby to while away time and at the same time feel good about it - what better way to do it than to sing to a group of strangers ? These said strangers even made you feel good , who out of sheer politeness and goodness of their heart egged you on and appreciated your music using their keypads to offer words of encouragement. You could choose to sing different genres of music on different days - so if i was feeling particularly classically inclined, i could join a classical music room on one day, a ghazal room on another, film music on the third - well you get the picture.

My friend, lets call him L, used to be (we have both since outgrown this hobby) one of the regular listeners of the forum. The forum itself had its own groups and subgroups with a small, dedicated core group of people running the show and L was one of those and slowly, over time we started chatting. I dont even know how or why it became a habit, but it did. Looking back, it sure was strange as he is in a profession which, though I am supposed to have a degree in, i know absolutely nothing about and have no inclination or interest in whatsoever. Yet we discussed it a lot, mostly L quizzing me on stuff that I was supposed to know and he having a good laugh when i did not.

Bald (and you thought i would not mention that L?), a great dancer, generous to a fault - he makes quite a character. Yet he is one of the warmest people i know and has been there for me through some tough times.

I think its fair to say that L taught me one of my big life lessons - thats it not always necessary to have a degree to do well in your profession. I come from an old school of thought, and so in my books education is the only path to success. L is very successful in what he does now. I am more qualified than him on paper in that subject but know next to nothing about it. He has risen to great heights entirely on his own merit and its fair to say that I did give him a lot of grief initially with my questions about how we got there. In my defense, at that time, I thought such a thing was impossible and so he must have used some good old 'influence'. Laugh all you want, so i was young and impressionable.

L is awfully fond of children and one of his reasons for coming to London (his words, not mine) was to see my little one. I have been giving him snippets of information for him to be sufficiently interested and so he decided to take the plunge and make a trip. The little one refused to go to him initially because she seems to have a strange, (ir)rational fear of most men. My uncle is an exception, but she normally starts crying when other men visit. She is fine with women, its just the men she is fearful of. So she has to be cajoled into going and saying hello, playing with men (if only this habit lasts !). L was confident that he would be an exception, even though I had warned him to not expect any different. As I predicted, she refused to go to him, yet he persisted rather sweetly and eventually she went to him (which is a big deal for her, because she normally would not go even after they have stayed for a couple of hours). It was wonderful seeing them play together with L behaving like a long-lost schoolchild, eager to please.

It was a wonderful, albeit short trip. He got me an awesome gift, one which I was awfully embarrassed to accept, yet I did gracefully (his words, not mine). Thank you L. I have a memory like a sieve when it comes to dates and so I thought i would write all this so that I at least remember the year and month of his visit a couple of years down the line.

Update - continued...

I forgot to add that the little one has completely outgrown her pacifier. Phew, I have somehow never liked them and I never thought that i would use one. But babies are born to defy your wishes and choices, sometimes.

I had this huge mental debate whether we should give her a pacifier or not when I was pregnant. I was ambivalent at best and left it at that, reading up loads of material on the internet about it. When the little one was born, we got given 2-3 pacifiers with some of the other stuff that we bought (bottles, steriliser etc). We tried it one day when she was a bit unsettled and she seemed to love it, so we stuck with it. She would also sleep longer at nights when she used it and so it clearly became a no-brainer to continue using it. She only used it while sleeping though, more frequently at nights rather than in the daytime.

And then one day, soon after she turned about 14 months, she stopped using it. Just like that with no conscious effort on our part at all. She refuses it consistently now and tells us to put it away. I am so relieved because I had these visions of having to force her away from it, with her screaming away and me being mean and stick to my ground. But none of that..

The resemblance of her taste in food to mine is really uncanny. I can almost predict what she will eat and what she will refuse straight away :).. her favourite vegetable seems to be ladies finger / okra.. She will eat that at any time, even after she has just had a meal. Of course its not in the same league as say a papad, but its pretty close.